Be Polite to the Unemployed

If you know someone who is unemployed, stop asking them what they do all day. It’s rude and we don’t like it. It’s really annoying to have people asking you to account for all your time, especially when it’s really no one’s business.

Here’s how the unemployed spend their time: looking for jobs. Emailing every single person they know to tell them they are unemployed. Rewriting cover letters – which takes a long freaking time. Rewriting resumes. Checking their email accounts – probably 80 times a day.

So stop asking us. My personal stance is now: no comment.

Going on a Manhunt (and no, it’s not for a boyfriend)

A few days ago, my friend Cari sent me a link to a blog with a video that she thought was hilarious. Turns out – for once – she was right. The video was hilarious and so was the rest of the blog. Cari’s email also said, “You have to find her and be friends with her. She live in Montana. It shouldn’t be hard.” Little did Cari know, it wasn’t hard at all.

I started following Allie on Twitter on Wednesday, @replied to something she said around the middle of day, and by Thursday evening, we had hatched a very elaborate plan to meet in Missoula on Friday night.

The game is called “MANHUNT!” I put this in all capital letters because I feel it needs to be yelled when explained. So at 5:30 pm today I will get a text message with a clue to somewhere in the downtown Missoula area (we designated boundaries) I must then try to find the location and snap of picture of Allie (she’ll be wearing a biker’s safety light so I can I.D. her). Should I miss her, I will get another text message with a clue, and so on and so on. When I find her, I must take a picture of her and text it back to her – then the game is over. Then we go for drinks. Good times all around.

Keep in mind, I’ve never met this girl. Everyone at my office thinks I’m weird for doing this, but I think it’s going to be fun. I posted it on my Twitter page last night and I got several responses from people (who I’ve also never met) that want to come with me. These are my other Twitter friends that I’ve never talk to but live in town.

So we’ll see how tonight goes. But should I end up dead tomorrow, I linked to Allie’s blog and look for my body in the area between Orange Street and Higgins and the river and Railroad Street.

*Update: Due to an illness in Allie’s family, we have canceled the MANHUNT! for tonight, but we are going to reschedule.

Auditioning for a workout video

So I went to my first Total Body class at the Peak this morning with my friend Mel (despite the fact that I did try to sleep through it – when setting a morning alarm it’s best to use a.m.). It wasn’t a bad class, it involved lots of stuff though. The step, the bar, hand weights, the ball and a mat. That’s a lot of stuff for an hour long class. I’m sure I will sore tomorrow.

The best part of this class was there was a woman there who looked like she was auditioning for a workout video (and no, she wasn’t the teacher). She was far too perky for a Saturday morning. You know how sometimes you are just supposed to march in place, this lady was jumping and skipping, and really smiling. When I workout, I’m just praying I survive it, let alone put a big smile on my face.

Don’t Drink and Kayak?

Yes, we’ve all heard the old adage, don’t drink and drive. But don’t drink and kayak? That one hasn’t made the DARE talking points.

Leave it to the outdoor enthusiasts of Seattle to go ahead and prove why it is important to stay away from sporting equipment when drinking.

God, I wished I lived there.

Confessions of a Fat Kid

So I found a great blog today, courtesy of CNN. This guy, Tyler, is trying to lose 150 pounds in 12 months. I hope he can do it (he has a month left and has lost 130 pounds),  but even if he doesn’t, he’ll  be real close and he seems to have done it the right way. He cut calories and started working out, you know, the normal way to lose weight. Nothing extreme, no surgery/pills/fads. I’m impressed with his honesty. He really puts himself out there and now he has all these people cheering him on. It takes some serious courage to really put yourself out there like that.

Which brings me to my next thought, The Biggest Loser. I personally don’t watch this show, but I know several people who do, and love it. I understand it’s motivating, and I’m incredible jealous of the results those people get, but I worry for them when they go home. What do you do to maintain your weight when you aren’t working out eight hours a day with your personal trainer? But none the less, they work hard when they are on the show and hopefully it helps them change their behaviors. I read an article a few weeks ago that says 50% of the people who go on the Biggest Loser gain their weight back, which is about the same success rate as a typical diet. I was on Facebook the other night, the day the Biggest Loser premiered, and someone who I’m “friends” with posted a diatribe about how disgusted she was with the contestants on the show. (NBC has been advertising it as the BIGGEST show ever) First of all, the person is not overweight and has never been overweight, so she is in no position to pass judgement on these people. If you’ve never been in that situation, then you have no idea what a struggle with weight it like, because it feels like a never-ending battle against an unknown foe. I can tell you why they are overweight, because they redirected emotions into eating, whatever those feelings might have been. It doesn’t take long before your weight is out of control. Secondly, you know this show is about fat people working out, and if you are so disgusted with fat people, why would you be watching it? If you want to see skinny people working out, go the gym. But where is the entertainment value in that?

For anyone who actually knows me, you are probably aware that I’ve got a little bit of a “weight problem.” In the immortal words of Jack Black, “I like to eat, is that a crime?” But anyway, I’m trying to take control of it as of late. I started a pretty restrictive diet. I know that’s not the ideal way to lose weight, but I needed something that worked and didn’t give me a lot of wiggle room. I’ve added in consistent exercise and am plugging along. From the middle of August through the end of December, I’ve lost 51.6 pounds. I’m still a long way from my goal, but that’s the most weight I’ve ever lost. And though it doesn’t really get any easier overall, small things are getting easier: going to the gym, remembering to drink a ton of water, eating every three hours, etc.

What else also impressed me about Tyler’s blog, was the fact that he looked like a different person when he was done. I’ve never been thin, ever. So I’m very curious to see what I look like when I get down a little further.

Wrappin’ up the Decade

I wasn’t going to do a decade wrap-up thing, but I enjoyed Carl’s so much, that I though I’d steal her format. So here we go.

2000: Junior year in high school. Was right in the middle of swimming season, so I smelled constantly of chlorine and was really tired of doing it. Vowed that would be my last season. It wasn’t.

2001: Senior year – still swimming, though  not very well and very half-heartedly. Enjoying my reign as senior class president and had a lead role in the school play (Noises Off). Getting my college applications together.

2002: Freshman year at WWU. I loved Washington and I loved being away from home. Found this great group of friends, loved living the dorms – didn’t love what I thought my major would be (theater) and ended up switching to environmental journalism. Joined the lacrosse team.

2003: Was working at Applebee’s (yeah the Bee’s) in Burlington, went on my first spring break in Mexico, lost 40 lbs, worked my first summer at Camp Starlight.

2004: Did my first quarter working on the Western Front, and hated every minute of it. Really hated it. Hated everything about it. Just to punish myself, I signed up for another round of punishment. Ended up kind of liking it. Worked another summer at Camp Starlight. Put all the weight I had lost back on. Decided I hated my advisor and changed my major to PR (best decision ever). This year was really hard for some reason. I was really down this whole year and I don’t really know why.

2005: Senior year, and this was a great year. Worked on the Front as an editor, made a whole bunch of new friends (including an abusive one named Cari who assaulted me several times, once over taking white smarties), worked on the Klipsun, worked at the College Store. Got straight A’s. Last spring break in Cabo…Got a great internship at the AJGA in Atlanta. Loved the job, hated the south. Got my first real job at Mammoth.

2006: Living in Mammoth, being buried in snow. Made a bunch of new friends. Shoveled a lot. Discovered my secret talent at voice recording phone messages. Learned a lot about crisis communication.

2007: Still living in Mammoth, not dealing with that much snow. Got another job waitressing. Got a new job in Montana, moved back to Missoula. Turns out it was the worst job ever. EVER. Bought my first new car.

2008: Still living in Missoula, hating every minute of it. Had the worst job on earth, working for some questionable people. Got laid off – basically was the best thing that ever happened to me. Unfortunately, the economy quit too. Took five months to find a new job. Adopted a cocker spaniel whom I love. Went to four weddings in one summer.

2009: Got a new job at a great place. Work with really nice people. Not hating Missoula as much. Still loving my dog. Spent every weekend at the lake with my parents. Lost 51.6 pounds. Got way to drunk on New Years Eve.

Why I love Traveling

I used to love flying. I used to get excited to go the airport. But as an adult, the thrill is as we say, gone. There were several humorous moments on my last journey, and some not so humorous ones.

1.) Flight gets cancelled due to fog – the day before. I’m all for air safety, but you have no idea what the weather will be like tomorrow. It was 75 degrees and sunny the day I graduated high school and snowed three inches that night. And thanks to global warming, there’s an even less chance you’ll be right. And there was no fog the day they cancelled my flight. Cost me three days of my vacation. Boo.

2.) The Airport Run. I’ve done the airport run twice this year. Luckily, this was a short jaunt (especially compared the run I did in October from E37 to B2 at the SLC airport). But I’m a terrible runner, especially carrying a blu-ray player and a backpack.

3.) Trying to drink my upgrade price. Could I really drink $50 worth of booze on a two hour flight? Nope, I couldn’t. But I gave it the good attempt. That would have been nine drinks, I only made it through three.

4.) Old people wearing masks at the Cabo airport. Hey, look around you. This terminal is filled with Americans. What do you think you are going to catch that you don’t already have?

5.) The extra TSA pat down. When does being felt-up at an airport ever go out of style? Never.

6.) Chatty customs agents. I always pick the wrong line at customs. This time I picked the chatty agent. My line didn’t move because he was too busy talking weather with the people from Alaska that were eight families in front of me. Needless to say I was the last person through, thus the last person to claim my bag and the last person through the x-ray machine. Okay, not the last person, but definitely at the end.

7.) One security lane being open in San Diego. Really, San Diego? One lane? During holiday travel?

8.) Useless parents. Yes, go ahead and let your child kick my seat and slam his tray table. It’s only a three hour flight. Go right ahead.

9.) Screaming babies. Goes hand-in-hand with #8. I understand that it’s hard to keep a baby quiet all the time-But that flight was ridiculous. The seat kicker sounded like he had Tourette’s. And he seemed to have friends in all the rows surrounding me. The guy in front of me remarked, “God, it’s like Air India back here.”

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

I’m not really one for holidays. I think it stems from my parents not really celebrating them. We had the traditional Thanksgiving/Christmas stuff, but other than presents and eating, we didn’t do too much with them. Which is fine, that’s just how we did it at the Woolley house.

This year, I made the slog down in Cabo in the holiday traffic to hang out with my parents. We haven’t done a Christmas together in three years so I figured it was about time. I like Christmas in Cabo, there’s no shoveling, no sweaters, though it is weird to eat turkey when it’s 70 degrees outside. So, to all of you, merry christmas/happy holidays, whatever you believe. Hopefully everyone has a great day.

Talk about giving up quickly

So I was supposed to be on the 7am flight to seattle, then off to cabo on the non-stop. But who knew airlines can now predict exactly what the weather will tomorrow. Apparently they know now that it will be too foggy for them to take off tomorrow. But not to worry, they did offer me flights that depart in five hours from airports that are all two to three hours away. Thanks, let me jump in the car and drive there right now. Especially since the visibility is bad enough that you won’t even take off. That makes sense.

Also, I appreciate the fact that you can’t even re-book me on a the same flights that I booked in AUGUST. And paid almost $600 for. Thanks for offering to refund my ticket so I could re-book on another airline. Tickets are only $3200 now. So now I have to make three flights to cabo. Awesome. Since things are always running on time. Especially during the holidays. Also, thank you for costing me three days of vacation in Cabo and fucking deserting me in Missoula in this shitty weather. Great. I hate Christmas.

It’s funny ’cause it’s true

I’ve had this joke forwarded to me three times today, so I thought I’d post.

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.

Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today.”

Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart
and will answer the question.”

Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”

Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.”

Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.”

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”

Teacher: “That’s right Nancy, you may also leave.”

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish these bitches would
keep their mouths shut!”

The teacher turns around: “NOW WHO SAID THAT?”

Johnny: “TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”